At the moment I am a bit frazzled and anxious. Why you ask? Because I have two trips planned in the next few months that both require me to fly, and I HATE HATE HATE flying. Nothing brings me more fear. I have had this problem ever since I was little, but my irrational fear is at an all time high. I feel like I am one plane ride away from never flying again. To give you more of an idea as to how bad it has gotten, let me tell you about my last plane ride. I was on my way back from Florida with my mom, and during take off, while I was focusing on not flipping out, my mom noticed that the guy next to us was holding two unfamiliar devices in his hand. She was starting to get worried because he was acting weird, or so she thought. So she tapped me on the shoulder and told me to try and figure out what the devices were that he was now attaching to the chair in front of him!!! My heart dropped to my rear end, because now I was sure he was a terrorist and he was ready to blow us all to bits. We just about called over a flight attendant when my mom leaned over and asked him what he was doing. All the while I was thinking you can't just ask a terrorist what they are doing! If you do they will just hurry and get it over with! Anyway, it turns out he wasn't a terrorist at all. In fact those little "devices" that he had were used to keep the person in front of him from reclining their chair. And the only reason he was acting weird was because we wouldn't stop looking at him. That was only the beginning of the flight from you know where(I know I am being dramatic). Then later on we hit an abundance of turbulence. Usually I can keep myself from becoming a complete mess with just a few minutes of turbulence, but this time around it didn't want to end. So here we are stuck in these storm clouds, with the never ending turbulence, and I just lost it! I couldn't hold my anxiety in anymore and I began to cry while I, a grown woman, latched onto my moms arm, with my sweaty palms. I began saying ridiculous things such as "I don't want to die", "I'm not ready to die", "I'm too young". Of course I didn't yell this because I knew people would think I was a crazy. Which maybe I am a little, but I didn't want everyone to know it. I am far to Vain. So about an hour later the turbulence gave up, and I felt a little silly to say the least. And wouldn't you know, I survived! However the next flight might be different, and thats how I always think about flying. Isn't it goofy? At least i can admit it and even laugh at myself. So now I have come to the conclusion that I need to be HEAVILY medicated when flying, from here on out. My goal next week is to find a doctor who can write a magical prescription for this silly fear of mine. I just don't want it to keep me from traveling, and more importantly, I don't want to act like a fool in public anymore. Sooo if any of you out there know of a good doctor or also have a fear of flying, and have any suggestions please share! I would love you forever.
~ Lu
